Reflections

I know it has been a while since I posted. Between my school, Mackenzie's school and doctor visits for the twins, I have not had time but now that I am officially the mother of three girls and one boy, I feel that it is time to for me to post on a matter near and dear to my heart. I am a young mother who happens to also be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I would say that I am a faithful member who is striving to teach her children the gospel line upon line and precept upon precept. With this fact here is what I have to say, I do not desire nor have ever desired to be ordained to the priesthood. I feel complete with the role that I have as wife, mother, daughter and sister to righteous priesthood holders. The priesthood in terms of god authority to act in his name through the ordination of said priesthood is not a right or privilege given only to men in our church. IT IS A RESPONSIBILITY. Let me say it again it is not a right but a responsibility. My parents are converts to the church and as such my father is open and honest with me about the weight of responsibility he feels every time he is asked to perform a task such as a blessing as a representative and voice for our Heavenly Father. He always says he feels completely inadequate. This might be in part because he is hearing impaired and speaks in simple plain terms but I know that because he is so humble and works so hard to be in tune with the spirit that when he has given me a blessing of any kind I have felt the love and presence not only of my earthly father but my heavenly father. I see this same thing with my husband who like my father feels inadequate and worries about how his words and actions reflect on the lord. However, I also see and feel my heavenly father's presence and love in my home as I see my husband give blessings to our children and to me when needed. I DO NOT want that power. In part because I know that it helps the men in my life have a sweeter and closer relationship with our father in heaven and I have that relationship with him already in other ways.

The first way is the fact that I am a wife and mother. As such, I am privy to personal revelation for our family and as I strive to live the gospel I find myself getting answers to the burning questions of my heart such as how do I teach my children the gospel, what should I teach, are they too young, are they getting anything out of what I am doing? Line upon line, or prompting upon prompting my father in heaven tells me what I am doing right and how to improve. Also during my three pregnancies I have come even closer to my father in heaven as I am prayed for the health of my unborn children and left the details of how they came to earth in his hands. As I have placed my life and faith in his hands I have seen amazing miracles in my life. From being able to go to school to finish my teaching degree, to the somewhat healthy arrival of our twin girls without a c-section, or the quick recovery of my son from a severe case of hand-foot-and-mouth disease. I do not feel helpless when I turn to my husband or my father or even someday my son. I actually feel greater support and strength from them.

I understand very well the plight of women through out history but motherhood and the being a helpmate to a righteous man is not a part of it. It is a divine role that we as women have to play. Some unfortunately do not get to play that role in this life but they too help out so much with their divine love, compassion and willingness to help those around them. We as woman of this church are not less than the men in anyway. I have only felt inferior from men who do not live lives in harmony with the teaching of Christ. It is never the divine and righteous men who have made me feel dumb, unimportant or undervalued for my sex. I know that my husband is in no way disappointed that we have three girls. I see how much he adores them and wants to give them all he can. I know that this is how our father in heaven views us, his divine daughters. Just because we don't receive the same responsiblities or roles as others does not mean that we are less, it just means our path is different. One of the devil's greatest tools is the "Grass is Greener" scenerio. BEWARE of it, for it will tear the joy and blessings you have in your own life a way from you faster than anything.

In closing I would say, that the church does not and has never taught any member to treat others who chose different paths than they with contempt, hatred or bigotry. Again this comes not from Christ, who is the head of our church, but of Lucifer and his teachings of selfishness and entitlement. I am grateful for who I am and what I have been sent here to do. I may never be famous or go down in history but I know that my life is worth more than all the heroes and heroines of history, if I just strive to live my life righteously and to fulfill my mission here on earth.

Thanks for your time and I hope that my humble understanding and testimony has helped you in someway.

The Lord's little miracles

First, I want to explain why it has been a while since I posted. We have had a crazy summer with car issues and basement finishing as well as pregnancy. With all this crazy stress we have continued to move forward in faith. Mackenzie is now in preschool and after a rough first day is loving it. Hyrum is growing like a weed and is strong. We call him our little Captain Moroni.

So now for the big news, Monday we had our official ultrasound to find out if we were having another boy or girl and we found out that we are having TWIN girls early next year. While we were shocked at first we are also so thankful for this amazing miracle. The girls are due February 8th but will probably come in January. I will post a pregnancy picture of my twin belly soon but first I need to finish healing. You see last Thursday I noticed a small rash on the nap of my neck. At first I thought it was a cluster of bug bites but when they began to hurt I thought maybe they were hives. I went into the doctor on Tuesday and found out that I have shingles. It is caused by the chicken pox virus that is still in your body after you have had chicken pox. It can be reactivated not only when you are older but also when your body is put under extra stress. It is painful but thankfully Eric and Mackenzie are great at helping me manage the pain. While Hyrum is my wonderful cuddle bug.

All of the recent events in my life have made me stop and think about adversity in our lives. While it may be painful and we may wonder why we are asked to go through these painful times I know that the Lord is there with us. Last night, I woke up in pain as some of my shingles began to pop. Has I was crying from the pain, because shingles are connected to nerve endings, I decided to listen to Hiliary Week's song Beautiful Heartbreak and it help me to remember that while the pain is substantial right now this too will be beautiful in the long run. I  truly believe in what Elder Richard G Scott has said:

"This life is an experience in profound trust-trust in Jesus Christ, trust in his teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning."

I may not understand now why my family and I have been asked to go through all of these challenges such as car troubles, ill health or unexpected additions but I know that the Lord knows. As I trust in him and try to make it through trials as positively as possible that the beauty of these experiences will come through.

Changes

So, it has been over a month since I posted. Sorry about that. Things have been crazy. Shortly after my last post, Eric was willing to drive me to my Spanish Pronunciation class. However, all did not go as planned. As we got on to Route 201 we had a warning that we had low tire pressure. By the time we were on 1-80 heading towards the University of Utah, we had a shredded tire. Needless to say, I missed my exam but was able to make it up. This incident began our saga of car troubles and repairs. Luckily we met a really nice guy who has been more than willing to help us. We have still had to pay for all the parts, and I will be feeding him for the next year or so, but we saved a lot of money. In the process, we have also decided to sell our Passat. It was a hard decision but we need a bigger car (minivan). We have found a buyer and a van we want to purchased that is more than reasonable! First, we just need to get little blue (the Prius) up a running again. With all this car issues my mind has not been on posting, so sorry for that. But I am grateful for all the little miracles we have had during this time. I don't know how many time, Eric and I have wanted to cry has the full extent of our car woes were reveled. However, with the strength of the Lord and thankfully our careful budgeting the last few months we have been able to handle it with grace and strength. This semester has been good. Just one more week!!! Then a few weeks to be with the kids all the time and thankfully only night and online classes this summer. Along with car difficulties, we are getting ready to finish our basement. We are going through the boxes downstairs, only took almost four year, and trying with all our might to get laundry caught up. We may have to take a lot of it to the laundry mat to get it all finished. We are so excited to actually get use of the entire house. Well I better get back to my day. The kids are fed but need to brush their teeth and have scripture study before I go to class today. Wish me luck Wednesday and my presentation, in Spanish on my project. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

Recent Developments

So it is time to post some happy news.
First, Mackenzie is doing great in her classes she has moved up a level in gymnastics and in swim. Also she is signed up for preschool this coming fall. Where does the time go! She is very into the Wizard of Oz right now and we have even began reading the book. I am amazed at how she sits still and listens to the whole chapter. They are only about five pages long but that is still a long time for a three year. She loves, burying her testimony on church and also in our monthly family fast and testimony meeting. It is funny she has to have a microphone, so I had to go digging in her toy box and pull out. She then made it very clear everyone had to burying their testimony. It was fun and cute because all Hyrum did was grunt. This next week she is giving her first talk in primary. It is exciting but hard to see them grow up.
Hyrum is growing like a weed. He had is 15 month appointment this last week and was 33 inches long, which puts him in the 97th percentile! I was shocked. If he keeps this up he is going to be over six feet tall and we will need a bigger house. This news also means that we will be switching him to a twin bed instead of another toddler bed, oh yeah, we have transitioned him to a toddler bed and he loves it! He is so cute. Every morning he knocks on his door to let us know it is time to let him out. He is loving life and is not only walking but climbing and running. In other words keeping mommy on her toes.
As a family we are doing pretty good. We are getting ready to finish our basement and getting ourselves organized. We have a monthly meal plan, where we cook every meal and are loving it. I have to take a moment and brag about Eric. He makes the most delicious pancakes and he is really getting into cooking. Sunday we make baked brown sugar ham steaks with swiss potatoes. He was shocked at how easy parts of the meal were. I love having someone to cook with! We have also been working hard to do scripture study every night and so far so good. Mackenzie and Hyrum seem to pay attention as long as it is short and full of songs as well as scriptures. Mommy is starting to get a big selections of church songs. However, it could be bigger.
Finally, school is almost done! I am getting ready to register for my last summer semester and then my last fall semester of course work. I still have one year of student teaching after that, but the light at the end of the tunnel is near. My Spanish is coming long. It is getting easier to speak and write in Spanish and I can understand a lot more of what I hear and read! There is still a lot of work to be done but it is coming along. I have to give thanks to my father in heaven for all the help his gives me and my family.
Finally, this year we have a goal of being constant in all we do and that includes this blog. I am hoping to post at least once a month if not once a week. Thanks for all of your posts I love reading about your families and I hope you enjoy reading about ours. We are some what boring but we love every minute of our lives together.
Have a wonderful March!

Life

I am not sure how many people actually read my posts but for those of you who do, I am sorry I have been gone for so long. There has been a lot going on with the Winslow family in the past few months. Both good and difficult. All the while we have grown closer as a family and I have grown as a person.

First in December, we were excited to discover that we were expecting again but within days we suffered the tragedy that so many other have, we miscarried. While it was heartbreaking, it was a beautiful heartbreak. In all of this, I had the opportunity to see the strength and compassion my dear sweetheart as. He knew there was not much that he could do to take the pain and disappointment a way, but he did what I need, held me. I now understand why we are commanded to marry when the opportunity presents itself. He truly is my missing half. While we were only about five six weeks along the heartbreak came from having to explain to Mackenzie what was wrong. She has been talking about her baby sister being ready to come since June of last year. However, again I found beauty in the mist of the heartache, she has displayed such kindness, love and faith. She told me that it was ok, her baby sister would come when it is the Lord's time. I truly believe that this trial has been great. I have been very private about this until now because I know that there are many others who have experienced this situation as well. However, now I know that the strength and faith I have gain through this. However, with the trial comes the joy too.

In January, our sweet Mackenzie became a Sunbeam. With this she has also helped our family to become better at doing family home evening every week along with family prayer and scripture study every day. She is truly an priceless gift that I become more and more grateful for everyday. Along with this milestone in Mackenzie life, I have to officially say, watch out world, Hyrum Eric Winslow is walking!!! He is also dancing and laughing. While I miss my baby boy I am loving this stage too. He is a challenge, getting into everything and outsmarting us all. However, I love it when he smile and laughs. He is my sunshine.


This month, we encountered more joy and sorrow. First, we have finally done it! We have started doing the temple work for my family. This has been an amazing opportunity for me to see my ancestors as more than just names and also to glean all the oral history available from my dad and my grandmother. However, with this, I have also had to say good-bye to one of my dearest family members, my Aunt Esther. She is my great-aunt but I have learn so much from her about divine womanhood. She truly followed the Relief Society motto all her life "Charity Never Faileth" even though she never had the opportunity to hear the fullness of the gospel in this life. While there is a hole in my heart where is has left this life, I know that I will be with her and my Uncle Dick again one day. All I can do now, is hope that I can live in such a way as to make her proud.

Well, that bring you all up to date with the Winslows. I hope to do better about posting thoughts and also pictures and videos. I hope you all have had a wonderful valentine's day with your loved ones.

The sweetest part of my life

I love this little girl and I can not believe how big she is getting. I love how life is so simple and wonderful for her. As many of you know my daughter is never at a lose for words. Lately she has decided that she needs a baby sister and so is insisting that her daddy take her to the baby store to get one. Well when we explained that her baby sister is in heaven with heavenly father and that she would need to pray to heavenly father about she took us up on.

She is so bright and loving. She is praying very hard for that baby sister and with her simple beautiful faith I have no doubt that in time the Lord will grant her the joy of having a little sister. She has clarified that she loves her baby brother and does not want to give him back, but that he is not a baby anymore so we need a baby in the house. Oh, to be almost three and have everything so clear and understandable.

I am totally in love with my little man! He is definitely the strong silent type but has a heart of gold like his sister. He is almost walking and trying to explore and help in every way. His smile is infectious and no one who is exposed to it can help but smile, not even grumpy Uncle Jeff. What time I have to cuddle with him, since he never likes to sit still now, I thoroughly enjoy. As Mackenzie has stated, he is definitely not a baby anymore.

He greatest love as of late, besides mama is food. He loves to eat, although he really does not look like it weight wise. However, his is also trying so hard to show how much he loves his sister more and more too. Today while we were running errands he patiently sat in the back and at one point tried and succeeded in holding his sister's hand. It made my day. I hope that my kids will always be able to be the best of friends and know that this is a friendship that can last for eternity.

Finally love my husband. He is blossoming so much lately. While him and Mackenzie still have their difficult moment, I am not sure who is more stubborn, they are also so much fun. Mackenzie adores her daddy and Hyrum loves daddy time too. I have to say I love being able to talk to and laugh with daddy too. His heart is made of pure gold and is showing more and more. I know with out a shadow of doubt that I married the right man. He is an amazing husband, father and priesthood holder. I know everyone probably says this but this is definitely true in our case. Eric reminds me so much of other great men in my life. He is strong and steady and continually working hard to make life better.

All in all this year is the Winslow family has been great. We have our ups and downs, which make us stronger, but we also have sweet times that make life all worth it. I have to say that this chapter in my life makes me want to smile all the time. Not because everything is going right all the time but because I know that I have the right people in my life and they make me complete. There is more to be added but the timing is not just right. However, between Mackenzie and the Lord our little family will grow in due time. I hope all of you are doing well and enjoying time with those you love too. May our heavenly father bless each of you with joy and love even in the midst of struggles and hard times.

Truthfulness of the gospel

I feel the need to share something with all of you. For years, my family has been working hard to gather our family history and get everything in order to do the temple work. Today I was able to finally figure out how to move forward with the work. Only to find out that someone else has done the work or is trying to do the work for some of my immediate family members. At first, I was extremely angry and hurt. For I have waited years to be able to do the ordinance work for my grandmothers and name sakes along with the work for others of my ancestors that I have very fond memories of. But as my amazing husband helped me to calm down and see that the Lord will make it available for me to do their work and that the missionary efforts with our living family will not be hinder, I came to realize that the Lord's work is never wrong it is just people to do it or make it wrong. I know that I will be able to do the work for my ancestors when the time is right and the rightful permission as been given. I know that they are waited for all of this to be done it the right time. I will not let this dampen my joy in the fact that I get to go with my husband and do the work for my great- grandma Sallie Jane Phipps and her husband this coming Friday. This will be a new experience and I know that it will take more than one trip to get all the work accomplished but I am so excited to be starting to do the work for the dear people who have help me to become who I am. I also am grateful for a church that is sensitive to not only the needs of those who are deceased but also to those they have left behind. With the Lord's help my family will be welded together for time and all eternity through the joy and love of the gospel, no matter the missteps that we all make in this life. I hope that this little story may help some one else who may have had this experience. Please know that through the Lord the truth will always be revealed and win the day no matter how dark or bleak it may seem. I don't know how or when but I know this problem will be resolved.

Learning and growing

So in the past two weeks this little family of mine has had some amazing and sad things happen. First, Eric grandfather passed away. While it was sad to see him leave this earth and also have Eric gone for five days as he drove with his father to Texas for the funeral, it was also a very inspiring time. You see, all summer I have been trying to figure out how to communicate and teach my now 2 and half year old. She is sweet and loving but also stubborn and hard-headed (like her mom). Needless to say our relationship is full of its challenges. However, I did not want the challenges to shape the nature of our relationship. So line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little I have worked to teach her eternal principles. While we still have a long way to go, I can see progress both in her and our relationship, along with me. One of my greatest weaknesses is my temper. It is something I have been striving all of my life to control. I have not always been successful. However, as I have turned to the Lord and tried to parent in a more Christ-like way I have found my temper flare-ups to become less frequent and more controllable. During those five days when Eric was gone, I will admit the house became messy and I only was able to keep the dishes cleaned and food on the table, but also had some amazing experiences with my children. I got to build a fort "club" with Mackenzie in the living room, watch my son figure out how to crawl faster and to begin to climb on furniture. I also had the opportunity to watch my daughter's love and concern for her brother come to light along with her powerful imagination. Now that Eric is home, we are striving to get the house back in order together as a team along with finding joy in even the most difficult situations of the this life. I hope you all can find the joy in life and enjoy the sweet little moments of your lives too.

In the midst of trials

So, these past few weeks have been extremely challenging. While we have been extremely blessed and the Lord is very much aware of this family, I am still just exhausted. I start classes again next week and talk about perfect timing. Our budget is tight so I won't be able to get book until the second week. Eric is working overtime so babysitting here we come. I know that if we continue to hold to the rod we will make through these challenges but it hard to remember that in the midst of it all. The biggest thing for me right is my lack of patience with Mackenzie. She is definitely at her two and half independence stage. She is still very loving and kind but challenging. I don't want to lose my temper or make her feel unloved or unwanted. However, it is harder than I thought. You see, while I was growing up I was yelled at a lot and left to my devices more than I care to remember. I don't want to do that to Mackenzie but with two little ones I feel like there is always someone needing something and I can't seem to get everything done. I am trying to organize our home and teach Mackenzie to help. I know the Lord is with me but other than him I feel alone. I may not be inactive or screaming for help and even offering help to others around me but it would be nice to have someone call to talk to me or stop by and check on me. I doubt that will ever happen though. So I will just continue to lean on the Lord and grow and work hard to change my weaknesses into strengths. All I need in this life is my little family and the Lord. I may feel alone but I am never truly alone. I will continue to fight and work hard to make a better relationship with each of my children both those here on earth now and those who are waiting to come. May the Lord bless your life in small and simple ways just as he has mine. For I know it is through the small and simple miracles that the large miracles come.

The dog days of Summer

So, I have to say that the last five weeks have been crazy in the Winslow house. Eric has been working hard at both his full-time job and being a part-time lifeguard. Mackenzie is growing and learning so fast and we are making through the difficult times together. She is truly a little sweetie but still wants her independence too. Hyrum officially has two teeth on the bottom. I promise to post pictures as soon as he will let me take some. He is working hard on his first upper tooth and to crawl. He has been mobile most of the summer with rolling everywhere but now he wants to get exactly where he wants to go. And mommy, well she has almost survived the most difficult summer in history for her.  I have only three more days of Spanish class and then I am off four weeks. In that time I have a lot of things I want to get done. I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord. For while we have all grown and learned, the Lord has also been helping us all to be able to do more in the day. Eric has been able to work almost 24 to 48 hours straight, Hyrum and Mackenzie both have taken naps, and I have been able to complete all my assigned work for class along with housework and enjoying special time with each child. I can not believe that has of August 1st, I will be done and Hyrum will be three days away from being nine months old! Life is good here in the Winslow house and I hope and pray we can continue to do well together. I promise to post pictures very soon.

The light in the darkness

This past week I have learned a lot about preserving through the difficulties of life. Mackenzie is officially potty trained! It was a hard two weeks mostly because she would have accidents and feel horrible and want to give up. But none of us did. I am also almost finish with Spanish 2010 for the summer. It has been a gruelling six weeks. I have found that I understand more Spanish both verbally and written but I am still struggling with speaking. I know just as with potty training, if I don't give up and keep trying I will get it eventually. I have also reminded myself of this promise in two other areas of my life. Eric and I have been married for almost four years now. We still have our difficulties but this is all because we are trying to bring together two lives to make a new one. We are getting there. Just as with Spanish and Potty training, I know it will take hard work and some tears for us to achieve the marriage that we want but it will be so worth it in the eternities. Finally we are also working with Mackenzie on being reverent at church. This is difficult, especially when she is up late waiting for her daddy to come home. So today, we brought her home after sacrament. I felt bad about it because I knew that Eric loves staying to magnify his calling but I also knew he was tired from working the swing shift Saturday. I have come to the conclusion that this will be the mostly difficult situation to keep working through but it will also have sweet rewards at the end. Step one, get her to go to bed on time even when daddy is at work. Step two, get her to sit quietly in sacrament meeting. Step three praise her for being a big girl and sitting quietly. It is hard, partly because she wants to come with me when I need to feed Hyrum. However, I know that if Eric and I keep working together, she will come to understand the importance of reverence and she will be the angel we know she is. I don't care what others say about her, because I know that they don't know anything about her and they never will until they are will to get off their pedestal and see her for the child of god she is. I love her so much. She is such a sweetheart and doesn't like to see anyone in her family upset. Now I just need to harness this on Sundays. With the Lord's help we can and will accomplish this. I hope you all have a great week too.

Forgiveness is truly divine

So as a follow up to my last post, things are much better today. The comments and judgements that have been made still sting but less today then yesterday. My anger is also subsiding. I am so grateful for the amazing gift of forgiveness. While it still hurts when others say things or do things that hurt us, it is wonderful that the Lord has made it possible for us to forgive those who hurt us even before they ask for the forgiveness. I have found myself so much calmer and able to focus on all I need to do today. I have been able to get my Spanish homework done, gotten both kids dressed and fed and got Eric off to his second job without too much stress. I know that all of this has been accomplished with the Lord's help. For it through him and the atonement of our savior Jesus Christ has made it possible for us to be forgiven and to forgive others. I hope that this personal struggle may help one of you through a situation in your own lives that has caused hurt or pain. We all have something that we can share and learn from each other. I know that I have learned so much from reading all of your posts and also through the influence that you all have had in my life. I hope that in some small way I have helped you too. Have a wonderful Monday and week. I hope to be able to post again soon.

The good, the bad and the ugly

So that past couple of weeks have seen a lot of changes in the Winslow household. First, Mackenzie is almost potty trained. She is doing really well. Second we have had a change in ward boundaries and finally Eric's shifts change this week. With all these changes there have been some amazing things happen along with some not so good.

First the good. I have finally figured out why I am in school. Now I know my motivation but I am starting to understand the Lord has more for me to do than just course work. This past Thursday I had a major revelation. I am taking Spanish 2010 and 2020 during the summer semester. Well I have met this wonderful young lady in my class who I have connected with. She is so helpful with my speaking and pronunciation. Thursday we got out of class and early and had a wonderfully spiritual talk. Something she said really stuck with me. That was that the Lord wanted us to meet. With that in mind I have realized that there are people out there that value my understanding and view of the world. With that in mind it is on to the bad.

Along with feeling good about Mackenzie's potty training and my purpose in school I have been struggling with feeling of anger towards others in our ward. I will admit that Mackenzie is a ball full of energy that we are trying to harness, but what two and a half year-old isn't. In the past two weeks I have had a hand full of people make comments about Mackenzie not listening or not sitting in her chair. While I know this is true I feel if they are not her parents or her teachers they should keep their mouths shut. She is an amazingly loving little girl with so much to share in this world. But just as every other two year old out there it is our job as her parents to help her understand good from bad, right from wrong and wants versus needs. I don't need others who won't take the time to know her judging her or my parenting style, which is a work in progress. She is my first child for heaven sake! I do feel that many people are saying behind my back that this is all because I am not home all the time. Which leads to the ugly.

All of my life I have dealt with social aggression from other women who do not approve of my choices. But that is just it, they are my choices. These people are not in my heart, they do not know the struggles I go through. The constant prayers from my children for how to help them and myself and my husband to accomplish all the Lord has in store for us. This is why I am not thrilled about the ward changes. It is great to have more people in the ward but I feel more isolated that ever. I have not had visiting teachers in months, nor any visitors really unless I am outside. I struggle like everyone else but I also have a good heart and want to do what is right. Right now I feel like a failure as a mother, a wife and a divine woman in general. I fear that my children will not know or understand the love of my heavenly father, so I pray everyday and night that I will be able to teach and show them. Maybe I have it all wrong but I know in my heart I don't. I have had to wait so long and ached to have a family that every single decision I make from school, to housework, to discipline is for them. If I want advise I will ask for and to be honest I am going to ask someone who is willing to help not scold or belittle. With that said I know I can get past these feels with the Lord's help and continue to do his work both in our home and in our ward as he sees fit.

Hyrum's Six Month Check

So yesterday Eric and I took Hyrum for his six month appointment. He is officially 26 inches long and 14lbs 5 ounces. He is only is the 3rd percentile for his weight. We are working on that. But the doctor was pleased with his progress. This little guy is so amazing. He only cried for a second or two and then was fine after the shots. I can not believe how quickly he has grown. He is babbling more and more everyday and is rolling everywhere. If there is a toy that Mackenzie has left near him he will get! He has such a sweet personality. He loves to giggle and eat and always wants to play with his sister. Hyrum is not the only one growing.

Mackenzie is a sharp little cookie. She loves to help mommy clean the house and wit her Spanish homework. We are starting potty training this coming week! Also she starts dance in the fall. She can now count from 1 to 10 and only misses the number 5. Hyrum is her favorite and she cries every time he goes to bed. We will keep you all posted on the fun with Mackenzie. The latest is this last Monday night Eric fell asleep for two hours while I was got class. Mackenzie got a hold of masacra and painted herself with it. Let just say when Eric woke up he was shock at what he found.

Eric is now working full time for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints Print Division. He is doing really well, just having a hardtime with the long hours. I started back to school and am working on finishing my lower level Spanish this summer. As a whole we are doing well and learning more about how to bring our little family together and be like Jesus all the time. We hope we are doing it right and can continue to improve and show greater love to each other.

Teach me to walk in the light

So lately I have been trying to sing a primary song to each of the kids before they head to bed. Mackenzie usually love "I am a Child of God" and will now even sing with me while Hyrum loves "Teach Me to Walk in the Light". However, lately Mackenzie has wanted me to sing the same song as Hyrum to her. Last night was a very sweet bedtime with our little princess. She was having a really hard time sleeping so I finally asked her what was wrong. She said she was scared. So I asked her if she wanted to say a little extra prayer to ask Heavenly Father to help her not be so scared. At first I wasn't sure if she understood or if she would be up for it. She wanted to try so I taught her how to say simply, "Dear Heavenly Father, Please help me. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen" Wouldn't you know it, the simple faith of a two year-old worked! She was out like a light. She did wake up a couple of times in the night and we had to say the prayer again both times but it taught me something important. Faith really is that simple. Mackenzie knows that her Heavenly Father loves her as much if not more than her earthly parents (who adore her). So she knows that he will help her. As I was singing "Teach me to Walk in the Light" to Hyrum later last night I realized that this little sweet moments are how I am teaching my children to walk in the light. As I try to help Mackenzie understand the importance of sacrament meeting and help Hyrum remember the love that his Heavenly Father and savior Jesus Christ have for him. I know that it is clicking. They my only be two years old and six months but they are getting it. I am also learning so much as I teach them. Sometimes I wonder if I am a good mother. There are so many things I want to do for my kids and wit my kids but I know that as long as my heart and mind are in the right place and I do everything I can, the Lord will make up for my short fall. I am so grateful for the power of prayer and that I can begin to teach Mackenzie how to pray on her own. I hope she will always feel the desire to talk to her Father in Heaven.

The Challenges of a two year old

So I know I am not the only mother to struggle with a stubborn two year old but I have to share the challenges of this weeks so far. First, Monday night Eric allowed me to take a nice hot 15 minute bath while he put Hyrum down to bed. While he was doing that Mackenzie was in our room watching a show on her computer. However, that was not all she was doing. During the 15 minutes I was in the bath she had gotten a hold of my deoderante and decided to paint it on her computer and mine along with herself. Well needless to say she had a time out and we cleaned everything up. Tuesday morning she decided she wanted to color. I told her it was time to get dressed not color, but she went ahead and started coloring while I was changing Hyrum's diaper. I found her in the bathroom with a gray marker. She had colored on the wall, bathroom door, coat closet door and our bedroom door. She went to time out again and then she was willing to help me clean up the mess. Wednesday I made pancakes for the family for breakfast and she loved them. So much that she wanted to make herself more. So, she got a pancake and proceeded to pour herself some syrup. Well she didn't know when to stop and she ended up with syrup all over her plate, on the table and on the floor. Amazingly she was clean. Eric was mad at first but then he started laughing with me. The hardest part was that she wanted to help clean it up. (I guess she is learning from me) However, Eric felt that it was too big of a mess, which is was and so I took Mackenzie and Hyrum for a walk around the neighborhood while Eric cleaned up the syrup mess. Today has been a pretty quiet day for Mackenzie, mostly because I think she has worn herself out. While these are big frustrating messes to clean there are also the amazing moments. Like when she say "Love you Mommy" or "Sweet Dreams Mommy". Or when she is silly and has a blast just playing to the water outside or helping mommy and daddy take care of the neighbors. While two year olds are challenging they are also amazing blessings. As much as they want to do their own thing they also want so much to help. Mackenzie doesn't like it when Hyrum cries. She has a hard time with daddy going to work and just loves cuddling. I am thankful for the challenges with her because it makes the nice times so much sweeter. I am grateful for this time to teach her for I am also learning so much and finding myself gaining strength in my convictions and beliefs from her.

Hyrum too is a wonderful blessing. He is rolling over everywhere, loving his baby food and trying to sit up and talk. Also he started holding a sippy cup this week! I can see what being a mother is a divine calling that is only for a short amount of time. I already feel like time is flying by. I just hope I can be patient and continue to find joy even in the most crazy and frustrating times. I know there are many more to come. I just have to remember what would a holy woman do?

Entering Summer Mom mode

So as of today I have only class left to finish. With that I have been working on trying to not only finish the paper and presentation for the class but also get ready for the summer. Right now we are having a fence out into our yard along with the fact that we got the kids a sandbox. Along with that Mackenzie has entered the monster phase so this week-end we will be cleaning the house and ridding it of all bad monsters. I love that little girl and her imagination. Hyrum is also growing. He is rolling over onto his stomach all the time now. The only problem is that he wants to crawl but the rest of his body is just not ready. He is growing so fast and so is Mackenzie. I am looking forward to class only in the evening this summer. We will keep you all posted on the fun things we do during the week. On a separate note, Eric starting working full time with the Church last week. He is working four days a week for a little while due to shifts in assignments. He will then be working on the press for the Ensign and Liahona.

 Mackenzie loves to fall asleep in our bed

 She also loves to help daddy get ready to go to the temple with mommy

Hyrum is still his happy little self. This is the most recent photo with more to come.

The joy of life

So, this past week I have been both really ambitious and also really feeling sorry for myself. First, I decided to mow the whole lawn on Thursday! I did it but boy was I sore after words, for no weed or blade of grass was safe from me and our lawn mower. Secondly, I put the whole family to work getting the laundry caught up. Eric calls me the lean, mean folding machine. Poor guy, I apparently fold so fast that he can put the clothes away fast enough.

Now for the pity part, Mackenzie has enter another clingy phase. She cries every time I leave for class. It is so hard to go, because she is so vocal now. She can beg and plead for me to stay home with her. So because of this we are in count down mode. I will be so happy to only have night classes for a while. Even so I still have a hard time leaving the kids. I miss Hyrum's little giggles and smile and Mackenzie's happy personality and desire to help me in everyday. I have to remind myself that I have only a two years of course work and then student teaching. I am so thankful that I am alb to get this degree. It is great to know I can help Eric with the finances of our family. Also i am learning so much about the educational system and what experience I would like our children to have with it. May the Lord guide each of you in your lives as he continually guides me.

Count Down time!

So, as of yesterday I only have four weeks left in the semester! I am really excited not because I am taking the summer off but because I will have more time with Mackenzie and Hyrum. I am so excited to start taking them to Gymboree more and doing more projects around the house with Mackenzie and just cuddling with Hyrum. For example, this morning he was up at 6:50 am. Mackenzie was still fast asleep, so we have moony/ son time. He nursed for about 20 minutes (which is wonderful!) and then I changed his diaper and clothes. After which he played on his play gym while I began cleaning up after tornado Mackenzie. He was just enjoying mommy talking to him and smiling away. I love having this individual time with the kids. I know that this time fleeting and so I want to take advantage of every moment I have.

Mackenzie is getting so big. Last night I called on my way home from class and Eric decided to put me on speaker phone. Mackenzie started talking up a storm to me. She even said "Mackenzie sad. Mommy come home." Well that did it. It was extremely hard not to break traffic laws and speed home as fast as possible. While it is hard to see my little girl grow up, it is also exciting to see her personality come through. She is so much fun.

Right now I am working on my first sewing project (all by myself). It is just a simple blanket for Mackenzie with monkeys and stars on one side and sparkly pink fabric on the other. (Pictures soon I promise). She has no idea about and I am so excited to finish it and surprise her. I love it when others teach me but I am also enjoying learning on my own. Next step remember how to set up my sewing machine and get started on quilting it. My goal is by the end of summer to be able to make her and Hyrum so clothes. We shall see if that come to fruition. I do have say that Mackenzie is definitely a Cunningham, she loves going to the fabric store with me, which Eric is eternally grateful for. I can not believe that this fall she will be in preschool and possibly dance as well. Where has the time gone. I am just grateful for the loving relationship that her and I are developing. This summer is going to be a blast. Between our garden, sewing projects, Spanish and art and Gymboree with the Kids it is going to fast too! I hope you all are enjoy the beautiful spring weather with your families too.

Civic Duty

So, this week has been crazy. Monday, I went back to class and had a presentation in the evening about literacy and biliteracy. I also took Hyrum for his four month appointment. He only gained a few ounces but is 25 and half inches long! Tuesday I had a huge project due and Hyrum came to class with me, because Eric was way too tired to watch both children. After that I thought I would have a quiet end to my week. However, I was also on call for jury duty and I got called yesterday. There were close to sixty others so I thought there was a slight chance I would be selected and of course I was. I also was elected foreperson, so I had the full experience. I am grateful for the experience but it was one of the longest days of my life. It would have been more fun if I did not have a family that depends on me. I missed my children and my husband and was extremely tired when I finally got home yesterday. I am now trying desperately to catch up on laundry and dishes and get the house in order again. I know it is my duty to serve and I am grateful I was able to gain a greater understanding of the legal system but I am also grateful I don't have to worry about again for two years. I do feel that justice was served and I am grateful for my hand it. Well I am off to bed to catch up on all the sleep I have missed, especially since Eric is home. Oh, one more piece of good news, it looks like Eric will soon have a full time job. He will be switching from printing Book of Mormons to helping print the Ensign and Liahona. I am so excited for him!