Hope in a time of turmoil.

So, I am on the mend with the stomach bug. Thanks to the wonderful care of my husband and my little girl along with the support of my parents. The only down side is the day after I got sick I received a call from my midwife and was told that while my glucose was great I am seriously anemic. They are giving me a prescription for iron but is still really frustrating. Especially when this time around I have tried so hard to increase my iron intake. I know that if this is the only complication that I have I will be eternally grateful. It was just one more thing after almost having to go to the Labor and Delivery room due to my stomach bug.

The only hard part is sometimes I feel really alone. I know that my parents, my husband and my daughter are here for me but sometimes I feel the lack of a connection with women my age. Growing up with no sisters this feeling ebbs and flows. I love learning from others and being in association of other women. However, I do feel like an outsider most of the time. I have not always done things the way society would have me do them. I took my time getting married, mostly because I did not want to settle. I knew what I was looking for and I knew it was out there. This is important to know because I had many a proposal. Of course a lot of them I don't count because it was with a couple of months or even days of starting to date. I also am pursuing more education right now with my children being extremely young. I would prefer to stay home but I know that by doing this I am teaching them about the importance of helping and also of education. It is nice to realize that after three years of hard work and sacrifice I will have degree and a teaching license for my family to fall back on if the need should ever arise. Finally I think the hardest part is when I am having difficulties or challenges I just don't say much.

I know I should tell someone when I am ill or struggling or scared but after being alone for so long, the only person I really turn to is my father in heaven. For example Thursday evening I was having some pretty strong contractions and was feeling completely miserable. As I laid in bed crying because I could hold Mackenzie for fear of getting her sick, I began to pray. I knew that whatever the Lord saw fit to happen would happen. I knew that if Hyrum was meant to come early it would happen and if he is meant to come at term the Lord would help me get through the challenges ahead. I know that he is the only person who truly understands everything that goes on in my heart. I am grateful that he has given me a wonderful husband who is so much like him and can see the true intentions and loves of my heart. I know that there is at least one person on this earth who truly knows me. I am so fortunate that I can be with him for all eternity. For being married to your best friend means that you are never truly alone and never truly can feel misunderstood. The Lord truly knew what he was doing when he commanded us to be married.

A Walk of Faith

So this week have had a lot of success and also a lot of challenges. Tuesday Eric had a stomach bug that he thought was just something he ate. Turned out it is a really stomach bug and now I have it. All day I have been nauseated, having abominal pain and a really tick little boy (inside me). After three calls to the on-call phone for our midwife we finally got a hold of someone. Luckily my temperature is only at 99.5. However, after talking to the nurse I was ready to cry because all the worse possible thoughts went through my mind. Then I had to remember to have faith.

That was when I asked Eric and my dad to give me a priesthood blessing. It was just what I needed. I am not temporally healed but I do feel much better spiritually and emotionally. I know that I have the most amazing spouse who helps me in just about every way. I also have the sweetest little girl who wants to be my nurse. I know that whatever happens is the Lord's will and he will give me the strength to accomplish all the needs to be done.

I am so grateful for the priesthood in my life.

Family Drama or Just Crazy Relatives

So after years of working to get my mom's parents' estate my mom and uncle are not done yet. Their crazy and spoiled younger sister has decided to contest the will. The problem with this is that from where we all stand she does not have a leg to stand on.

First her lawyer has been convicted on drug charges. Second she has stolen countless dollars worth of things from the house and actual money from my grandparents when they were alive. Finally she is expecting all the money to go to her even though the will states it was to be divided three ways equally.

Even though this is frustrated I know my mom is right that this is going to be interested. We will keep you posted as this crazy and ridiculous family drama unfolds. I can tell you this I hope that we don't have to go through this will stuff again for a long time!

First Day Back

So, my first day back in class went pretty well. My professor is really nice, the class seems really interesting. It is all about language awareness and how as teachers we play different roles. My classmates seems to be pretty decent and kind. The only hitch is the walking to and from the parking lot in the heat. I need to remind myself not to take the hardest way possible. By the time I got to the car last night I was out of breath and the muscles in my legs ached. Luckily I have an amazing husband who give great massages. I am grateful that my professor is willing to work with me as my due date comes nearer.

The only minor problem is I need to help Eric figure out how to keep Mackenzie busy. Otherwise he will have another night have Mackenzie exploring the whole house looking for mommy. Of course I should remind him not to watch shows such as "Mars Needs Moms" while I am gone. But other than that all is looking good in the education department.

Dear Friends

Yesterday, we made the trek up to Evanston to see one of my dearest friends. While the actually trip was hard thanks to Udot and their need to do construction everywhere, the visit was wonderful. Mackenzie got to play with Abby and Joe and thanks to them she was thoroughly worn out. Of course on the way home she was determined to stay awake and have mommy hold her when we got home. However, she was so tired. She finally crashed on route 201. Of course this was after an hour and a half of string at daddy and refusing to let sleep over take her. It was hard not to laugh at her stubbornness. It also broke my heart a little to see how tired she was but how she refused to sleep. Oh, well she comes by her stubbornness honestly.
The visit was great partly because I got to go shopping with Mindy and we got to watch Mackenzie play with their older two kids. The other part was watching Eric interact with their little boy Jake. Jake is not quite a year old. I can tell that Eric is getting more and more excited to have a little boy. I know he adores his little girl but I think he is getting excited for the new challenge and joys of having a boy. I know I am too but it is fun to see the sparkle that comes into Eric's eyes when he thinks about our kids. He is such a great man and wants to be a great father. Little does he know he is on his way there. He was having fun pushing Mackenzie in a swing, reading to all the kids and helping me convince Mackenzie that it was time to eat. I am so grateful that I chose to marry him. For while he has his faults (I do too) his desire and efforts to overcome his past more than make up for everything else. His heart is pure and his desires divine. I just hope I can find more ways to help him see the good within him.

Going back to school

So, I realized yesterday in a complete panic that school starts again on Monday! While I am excited to go back and get started on my Masters I am also worried. I love school but it has been fun to be a stay at home mom with Mackenzie all day. I do get battle weary but I am grateful that for the most part she will listen to me. Luckily I only have two classes. One Monday night and one Thursday night. The only other problem with going back to school is the flack I am getting about doing it.


I did not enter into this decision lightly. I knew I needed a little more education to be able to one day help my husband care for our family. Unlike my mom who has the education but not the health to help I can help. I grew up watching my dad work his tail off and my mom cry because she could not help out as much as she would have liked. So this is why I have decided to go back to school pregnant and with a sweet little one. I know that in the long run it will be beneficial for my family. I will be able to help Eric and also to teach my children that education is vitial and that no matter what your circumstances you can achieve anything.

I know that education is a huge part of our Heavenly father's plan for all of us. Knowledge is the only thing we can take with us after this life. While we must sift through all the knowledge out there and make decisions about what is truth and what is fiction I love the process of learning. If we enter into education both formal and informal with the right attitude and an open heart we can find answers that will astound and amaze us. I know I have. I must hold on to this belief and remind myself of it often as I work on my school work, prepare for our precious little boy and enjoy our sweet little girl. This is what the Lord wants me to do at this time in my life and I can and will accomplish it only with his unfailing support. This support can be seen in the encouragement and love of my sweet husband and my kind mother who are willing and ready to help.

Funny thing happen while getting ready for bed

Last night we were working on getting Mackenzie in bed, when she decided to explore. She found the can of air fresher that we have to keep handy due to my extreme sense of smell. Well she picked it up and said "Daddy's" with the best grin ever on her face. Needless o say Eric was not very amused. He took it is stride. I reminded him that she had been finding all of his stuff all day even his his clothes that I was in the process of folding. I love the fact that Mackenzie loves her daddy so much that she talks about him almost the whole time he is gone at work.

This morning she continued with her daddy fest. She instructed daddy to sit down with his head on her bed, which Eric being the good sport he is, did. Next thing he knew she was sitting on his back. Then she slid down it. Then he moved just a little to get more comfortable and he became the horsey of her dreams. Gotta love daddy time.