The joys of Mackenzie

So we have enter the toddler tantrum phase. Sorry to all of our neighbors who have heard Mackenzie's cries as her daddy tries to put his foot down, when they are outside. She has had a very strong set of lungs since the day she was born. I feel for him. She will get upset with me but because I am home with her more often and she knows that I stick to what I say she knows how far she can go with me before she is in time out or has privileges taken away. Eric however it is a little different. He is so soft hearted and is trying to figure out his style of disciplining. He is doing a great job but I can tell it takes its toll on him.

Even with the tantrum phase she is also starting to love reading and books even more. I know, I know we are in trouble and will probably need to build on to our house for both her books and mine. I love to read with her. She is also very curious, always asking questions about the world around her. We don't have a whole lot of mine problems but she is very much aware of whose stuff is whose. She has also picked up talking about herself in the third person. Once again thanks to me and Eric. Also the other day I was humbled when I accidentally said something I don't usually say in a bout of frustration and right then and there she picked it up. I know that she is teaching me how to be a better person and I am so grateful for that.

Today we decided to finally decorate for Halloween. We out up lights outside and then Mackenzie wanted to play with them. Eric did a great job keeping her from playing with them but she was not happy. However, even with the tantrums and the frustration we are also loving that fact that she is talking more. She has even started to tell her little brother it is time to come out. I think he is listening to her for little by little my contractions are increasing.

I am having a hard time being patient mostly because I want to hold him and have our little family complete again. I know it is all in the Lord's time but I need to learn patience. Right now I am focusing on getting my family ready for Halloween and for Mackenzie's birthday along with working on my midterm due this next week. I know if I don't do this I will become obsessed with Hyrum coming and I know that just liked a watched pot never boils, it will be even more painful if I don't just let the Lord take the lead here.

I just hope that I can have a smooth delivery with a health but not too big of a baby that is not over due. I hope that I will be able to trust whoever watches our little princess and not worry about her well-being during labor. I pray that Eric and I will be able to fully enjoy this birth and be able to work together to bring this little guy into the world. Right now Hyrum is getting ready and also still enjoying kicking mommy from the inside out. I think he might be just as athletic and fearless as his sister. If so Eric and I are in big trouble.

The Lord's Timing

So as of today we are at 38 weeks. I am so ready to hold my little boy. Even more I am ready to be able to run, play and clean my house the way I like to. I have had to learn a lot of patience in the last few weeks as my mobility has become more and more limited. This would be fine if it were not for the outside worries that I have.

The first big thing is that if Hyrum waits until the 30th to come we will not have our most trust babysitter, my mom. She is the only one that I feel completely comfortable leaving Mackenzie with. While I know that others to a great job, she is my mother and Mackenzie knows it. My greatest desire besides bringing a healthy baby boy into the world is that my daughter will feel safe and loved as we add this new member to our family. I know that I need this because otherwise I will worry the whole time about her. Also I need my father to be with Eric. My father is a strong, meek man who as always been a strength for me. He has become such for my husband as well.

It is hard to have firm faith that the Lord knows the desires of my hearts and my needs. Especially when other family members poke holes or try to in your confidence. I am tired of feeling alone in my worries. I am tired of feeling as though the support I have is only superficial. I know that we are in countdown mode. I know in my heart that I will not be pregnant for ever. However, I am exhausted. I need the help with the last mile or so of this journey. I am a very positive person but even the most positive get down at times.

I struggle is with the fact that there is so much I want to get done for my family and friends. I worry about my visiting teaching sisters. I worry about my neighbors. I continually pray for them. However, by the time I have gone to class, done what housework I can, played with Mackenzie, read with her and helped Eric where he needs me. I am exhausted. I am able to fight through the exhaustion to read my scriptures but then I fall asleep. And every time I do that I cry when I wake up. This is because at least half of my to do list for the day did not get accomplished.

Eric got a new job this week. We are sure exactly when he starts but it will be long hours. I know I will have support from my amazing family but I am worried. He has been such a blessing to have at home over the last few months, even when he drives me nuts! It will be hard to have him gone more. However, I know that even though I will have two children to care for, school to accomplish and a house and yard to take care of, I can do it. Once our son is born I know that many of my limitations will be lifted one by one, week by week as my body heals and returns to its former state.

With all of the discomfort and frustration I am grateful for the opportunity to bring children into this world. For I learn so much about what life is truly about. I have learned more about what I am capable of. It was worth the wait. I am grateful for all that I go through. Lord give me the strength to make to the end of this pregnancy and to accomplish all that may come before me in the next few months.

The time is near

So as of Thursday my midwife told me that Hyrum could come anytime. He seems to agree for I have begun to have early signs of labor. I am dilated to a two and am just praying that he will come soon. We are all so excited to have him come. We are ready to hold our little boy and for our family to grow.

We are nervous about expanding our family but we know that when the Lord wants something done he will find a way to help you accomplish it. So far Mackenzie is excited. I am nervous about being away from her for even a couple of nights. However, I know that the Lord will comfort her when I can't and Eric is an amazing dad with her.

So please keep us in your prayers. I promise to post pictures of both Mackenzie and Hyrum soon. Have a wonderful Sunday!