Learning and growing

So in the past two weeks this little family of mine has had some amazing and sad things happen. First, Eric grandfather passed away. While it was sad to see him leave this earth and also have Eric gone for five days as he drove with his father to Texas for the funeral, it was also a very inspiring time. You see, all summer I have been trying to figure out how to communicate and teach my now 2 and half year old. She is sweet and loving but also stubborn and hard-headed (like her mom). Needless to say our relationship is full of its challenges. However, I did not want the challenges to shape the nature of our relationship. So line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little I have worked to teach her eternal principles. While we still have a long way to go, I can see progress both in her and our relationship, along with me. One of my greatest weaknesses is my temper. It is something I have been striving all of my life to control. I have not always been successful. However, as I have turned to the Lord and tried to parent in a more Christ-like way I have found my temper flare-ups to become less frequent and more controllable. During those five days when Eric was gone, I will admit the house became messy and I only was able to keep the dishes cleaned and food on the table, but also had some amazing experiences with my children. I got to build a fort "club" with Mackenzie in the living room, watch my son figure out how to crawl faster and to begin to climb on furniture. I also had the opportunity to watch my daughter's love and concern for her brother come to light along with her powerful imagination. Now that Eric is home, we are striving to get the house back in order together as a team along with finding joy in even the most difficult situations of the this life. I hope you all can find the joy in life and enjoy the sweet little moments of your lives too.

In the midst of trials

So, these past few weeks have been extremely challenging. While we have been extremely blessed and the Lord is very much aware of this family, I am still just exhausted. I start classes again next week and talk about perfect timing. Our budget is tight so I won't be able to get book until the second week. Eric is working overtime so babysitting here we come. I know that if we continue to hold to the rod we will make through these challenges but it hard to remember that in the midst of it all. The biggest thing for me right is my lack of patience with Mackenzie. She is definitely at her two and half independence stage. She is still very loving and kind but challenging. I don't want to lose my temper or make her feel unloved or unwanted. However, it is harder than I thought. You see, while I was growing up I was yelled at a lot and left to my devices more than I care to remember. I don't want to do that to Mackenzie but with two little ones I feel like there is always someone needing something and I can't seem to get everything done. I am trying to organize our home and teach Mackenzie to help. I know the Lord is with me but other than him I feel alone. I may not be inactive or screaming for help and even offering help to others around me but it would be nice to have someone call to talk to me or stop by and check on me. I doubt that will ever happen though. So I will just continue to lean on the Lord and grow and work hard to change my weaknesses into strengths. All I need in this life is my little family and the Lord. I may feel alone but I am never truly alone. I will continue to fight and work hard to make a better relationship with each of my children both those here on earth now and those who are waiting to come. May the Lord bless your life in small and simple ways just as he has mine. For I know it is through the small and simple miracles that the large miracles come.